14 Gods Around the World
by Owlion12
Summary: "First off, has anyone else besides me noticed how this building sticks out like a turd on my nice, marble floors?" When Zeus decides it's time to relocate Olympus, the Olympians, plus Hades and Hestia, head out on an epic, two-hour long journey to the four corners of the World to seek out the perfect Immortal Habitat.
1. Zeus wants change

**Author's note:**

**Hi! This is our first fanfiction! One of the important things about reading this and any other fanfiction we may post in the future (Yes, there are two of us, Thennie and Hermie) is to abandon all reality, sanity and some prior knowledge of a character's (God's) personality. Just assume that they're all crazy.**

**There's not really any warnings to give you... Seeing as the gods cannot be killed, but there may be a few... references... and Dionysus... and Zeus... and Hades.**

**DISCLAIMER: We DO NOT own Percy Jackson and the Olympians or The Heroes of Olympus series. All rights go to Rick Riordan. This is a fanfiction written by fans for fans, for free. We do not gain anything from this, except our own enjoyment. **

**And possibly reviews**

**Quiet, Thennie. Go read a book**

* * *

Chapter one

"Alright, everyone." Zeus cleared his throat after a long Olympian council meeting. "Thank you, Hermes, for your presentation on the latest in the crime and sports news. It was very... Interesting..." He nudged Hera, who had fallen asleep beside him. She jerked awake.

"What? Oh, is it my turn? Oh, alright." She stood up and smoothed her dress. "Listen up, people! I have a very serious announcement to make! I-" she paused. "What are you three doing?" Hermes, Apollo and Ares were pooling money between them.

"Placing bets, Oh Uttery One." Apollo mocked. Hermes snickered.

"Please tell me it's on sports!"

"Sorry, Aunty Utters, but this is about your latest piece of αλαζονικό για μια ώρα!" Hermes explained, laying down a ten dollar bill on the table. On the opposite side of the table, Demeter snickered. Hera glared at them.

"I do NOT rant for one hour, you little freak. And besides, today I have a topic worth all your godly ears!"

"If it's about your newest little game with mortals that will end up saving the world and gods, better have it out now." Athena said, not looking up from her National Geographic.

"She's got a point!" Hephaestus added. "I haven't seen much action in a while."

"Well, you'll get some if you don't shut your trap!" Hera barked. "And put that Nintendo away! Don't think I don't know you've been playing Mario Kart under the table, mister!" The god of forge laid his 3DS on the table and held his hands in the air.

"I have to admit, Hera. You do know how to spark entertainment!" Aphrodite pointed out.

"I would pay to come see this every day!" Artemis added from her seat. "Apollo, you're good at thinking of stupid names. What would you call this?" Her twin grimaced and smiled.

"Having a Cow with Hera."

"JUST SHUT UP OR YOU'LL BE JOINING YOUR MOTHER ON THAT ISLAND, YOU HEAR ME?" Zeus placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Calm down, honey. Remember what your anger management councillor said; deep breaths. I'll explain." Ares fist pumped as he took all the cash from the pile and shoved it in his pocket.

"First off, has anyone else besides me noticed how this building sticks out like a turd on my nice, marble floors?" All eleven gods raised their hands in agreement. Zeus seemed taken back by the number of smart people. "Well, glad to know that we're all on the same page. As I was saying, I think that its best we move on from this location and to a new one."

"WHAT?!" Ten voices yelled back at him.

"But, Dad!" Hermes jumped from his seat. "This is the Mother Board of my business!"

"So many books!" Athena yelled.

"Cable and Wi-Fi!" Apollo added.

"Some of the best American wineries!" Dionysus threw in.

"Meh, do whatever the Hades you want." Artemis scoffed, fixing the string on her bow.

"Did someone say my name?" came a low, odd voice from behind her. Artemis shrieked and leapt onto the table.

"Gods, Hades! Don't do that!" she yelled. She slunk back into her throne, embarrassed, as the other gods laughed at her. Hades walked over to Zeus's and Poseidon's thrones.

"Good to see the old Sashimi and Franklin again, eh? I got the message, and I have to say that I like California. Lots of work, great for business and awesome Broadway shows."

"Did you see the latest Circle du Soleil?" Apollo asked, rising from his seat. Hades nodded.

"Actually, it's Cirque du Soleil." Athena corrected as she moved on to a newspaper. "Circle du Soleil translates as Circle of the Sun."

"Who cares? My circus, my grammar rules."

"Can we please get on with the meeting?" Zeus asked, and the room fell silent.

"Now, we will be visiting each of the seven continents of the world: Europe, Asia, Africa, South America, Antarctica, North America and Australia. Anyone in the North will be hitting Canada and returning Season Three of Hercules Busts Heads to Boreas."

"Wait, everyone?" Ares asked. "You mean, we aren't all traveling together, right?" Zeus nodded.

"You'll be going in pairs." In an instant, the room was divided in half: One side wanted to go with Athena and the other with Hermes.

"SHUT UP!" Hera yelled from the head of the table. Everyone stared at her. "Thanks!"

"We will be drawing names, and I already have them all written down here!" Zeus held up several folded cards. "Now, all we need is a hat..." Zeus looked at Hades.

"Touch the Helm, and you're in for the Swirly of your life, little bro."

Zeus looked at Athena.

"No. Battle helmets. For rent."

Zeus turned to Hermes now.

"Hermes?" He asked, smiling.

"Bite me, pops. I just had it cleaned." He clutched his winged helmet over his head.

"Daddy! There's a problem!" Apollo called. Zeus sighed in frustration.

"First, it was okay for you to call me Daddy when you were little, Apollo, but now it's just getting irritating! Second, NO you will NOT be with Artemis! Last year's Olympus Field Day's Three-Legged Race proved that you two cannot work together at all!"

"Actually, I meant to say that there are only thirteen of us." Everyone in the room gasped and covered their ears. "I mean, we don't have enough of us to have pairs in each place. We need one more person!" He corrected himself. Everyone sighed in relief.

"We could drop Hades!" Artemis voted.

"No. It's his job to think if the dead will like it or not. Hermes can't do all the work around here!" Zeus said.

"Well, who else could we ask?" Poseidon asked.

"Persephone!" Demeter yelled.

"Sis!" Hades called. "It's February. She's mine for another month, remember?"

"What about Hecate?" Athena asked.

"She's got a cold." Hermes said. "I had to bring her some medicine yesterday."

"Iris?"

"Nah. You CAN'T have a peaceful, uninterrupted conversation with her. EVER!"

They spend the next five minutes discussing possible travel aids, but all other gods were either too busy, annoying or were on Zeus's bad side and not willing to move.

"Now I've got a headache!" Hera tapped the bell the gods kept at the head of the table during meetings. A few seconds later, Hestia walked in carrying a tray with twelve glasses of water and a pile of freshly baked cookies.

"Refreshments!" She said. Then she noticed Hades. "Oh, Hades! I didn't know you were coming! I'll go get-"

"Hestia! Oh honorable older sister!" Zeus called.

"Yes?" Hestia could feel a very big favor about to be asked of her.

"How would you like a trip around the world?" Hestia's eyes lit up.

"You're not... Serious, are you Zeus?" Everyone in the room savored the moment. This was probably the happiest anyone had ever seen Hestia when she wasn't baking muffins.

"Yes!" Zeus said, walking over to her and patting her shoulder. "And all it'll cost you is... THIS!" He pulled down Hestia's hood. A large gasp erupted from the gods; Hestia wore a shocked expression, Athena looked up from her Telegraph Journal and the boys began slapping money on the table. Zeus stuffed the papers into her hood. Hestia covered her head with her hands. Rule Number One about living with Hestia: Don't take off The Hood.

"Z-Z-Zeus... What-What are-are you-ou d-d-doing?" she stuttered.

"Just give me a minute, Hesty." Zeus began to pull names and continents as Hestia cried in protest.

"Zeus, no! Stop, put it back on please! My ears- my head- ZEUS IF YOU DON'T PUT MY HOOD BACK ON THIS INSTANT I'LL TELL HERA ABOUT YOUR PLANS FOR NEXT THURSDAY!" she dropped her tray to the floor. The glass shattered and broke the commotion. Zeus let go of her hood and she pulled it over her head.

"I-I-I'll g-g-go g-g-get a-a-a broom an-n-nd mop..." Hestia sniffled as she left the room. Apollo passed ten dollars to Hades, who tucked it in his inside coat pocket.

The gods glanced across the room at each other, finding their partners.

"Alright, here's the deal!" Hera said, resting her hand on the large hourglass Hestia had somehow carried in the room by herself. "You have five hours to check out the hot spots of your continents. Come back here after you're through and we will have a discussion!" Fourteen gods went into Supernova mode and teleported off to a new place, where they will be faced with language issues, excited gods, pure frustration and, worst of all, each other.

* * *

**How's that for a first chapter? We will start showing the pairings for the continents in the next chapter, HOWEVER, if you have any suggestions for what kind of shanigans the Gods should get up to in each continent that would be fantastic! (please don't request a pairing. we actually drew these ourselves, witohut looking, in a complete unbiased fashion. we aren't lying, as hard as it is for Hermie not to)**

**But, for foreshadowing... A certain goddess of wisdom and a certain father of mine-**

**Hermes**

**Quiet, Thennie! You finished that book?**

**Yeah. The next one needs to come out sooner.**

**You can wait until Fall, just like all the normal people.**

**But I'm not normal...**

**I know, honey, neither am I**


	2. Canada (Hermes and Athena)

**EEEEE! Second Chapter is here!**

**I had to write all of this on my own, since Thennie has gone off to do some orientation for her summer job, but I'm super happy!**

**I want to thank the following users for: **

**Following: _Wilhelm Wigworthy, Night Heartbird, Kcool456, Breem Weasley, swannnie_**

**Favoriting: _Wilhelm Wigworthy, MoonLight1300, Night Heartbird, Just-AWESOME-old-me, Kcool456, PercabethandAntiThalico_**

**Reviewing: _Wilhelm Wigworthy and Kcool456_**

**I won't always be posting who did what, but thanks so much! I got extremely excited seeing all these in my email... TT w TT tears of joy...**

**Anyways, enjoy!**

* * *

"Now, Athena? Can I go now?"

"Wait until I cross the border."

"Now?"

"Hermes, be patient."

"I crossed the border, Athena! Lemme go!"

"Wait until I'm across. Okay, go." Athena let go of the leash around Hermes's chest and sent him rocketing into Alberta. He was gone in a cloud of smoke. Further into the field, Athena could hear her younger half-brother crying in joy.

"Crop circles!" he squealed. Athena took her time to find the circles he had made and stood in the middle of the largest waiting for him to finish. "Thennie, we're in Canada! Canada! I wish we could have gone to Mongolia, since the plains there are so flat and huge and I can run forever!" He flopped in the wheat, panting heavily.

"Now that you've had your fun, we should try and figure out where to go." Athena pulled out a travel guide and an iPad. "Based on requirements, we should either choose Vancouver, one of the Maritimes or Toronto. Shall we go to…? Toronto?" Hermes was still resting.

"Yeah, sure…"

"It's isn't as far from attention as Zeus would like, however, it is large enough and the city is surrounded by places for entertainment… Hermes, get up!"

"I'm tired…"

"Then you shouldn't have made all those crop circles!" Athena heaved him from the pile. And they went poof!

"Where are we?" Hermes asked, a few minutes later.

"Toronto." His sister replied, looking around the square. They stood beside a fountain in front of a large brick building resembling a clock tower.

"So, we only have two hours to check this place out, right?" Hermes asked, looking around him. "I like it. It doesn't appear too busy, and the weather is great today!"

"Just wait until we get downtown. Then you're in for a real surprise of how crowded this place actually is."

"Hey, Athena? How come there aren't any igloos? And polar bears? Did they all hunt them down for fur coats?"

"No, Hermes." She sighed. "This is why I didn't want to go with you. You have a tendency to place stereotypes before reality."

"What about maple syrup? Can we get some?"

"If you're good. Now, let's try to find someplace nice." She pointed to a tall, pointed building in the distance. "That's the CN Tower. It's actually taller than the Empire State building."

"Athena? Can we go see a hockey game?" Athena sighed.

"No, Hermes. We have a job to do."

"What?! No!" Hermes knelt before her and gave her puppy eyes. "But, Sissy, I really wanna go! It's the Maple Leafs VS Habs!"

"Habs?"

"The shorter name for the Montreal Canadians. Listen, if I go, I can totally revolutionize the sports world!" She raised her eyebrow at him. Hermes loved sports and always made the most noise when the Olympian boys watched the Super Bowl.

"How so?" Hermes wore a determined look.

"See, if I bless the Leafs in this game, they have a very good chance of winning! They haven't won against the Habs in a long time, and if they win this one by a long shot, fans everywhere across the nation will feel hope in their hearts and find a new passion for the art of hockey!"

"I don't see what's so interesting about watching a bunch of sweaty men skate around after a rubber puck." Hermes grabbed her by the shoulders.

"You listen to me, Athena." He glared at her. Athena had never seen anyone, much less her younger half-brother, this serious and driven around her. "Hockey isn't just a game. It isn't just a sport. Hockey is the passion that drives Canadians. It's like a form of art. People everywhere, from coast to coast, breathe hockey. It brings together a community and families and gives young people a sense of self-esteem. It connects the French and the English alike! It gives you a goal! Hockey isn't just some sport, Athena! It is the power of this free nation! To Canadians everywhere, hockey is life!" A round of applause burst from around them. The gods turned to find themselves surrounded by people wearing hockey jerseys from several teams Athena didn't recognize. They were clapping and cheering for Hermes' speech. Athena felt ridiculous. The goddess of wisdom had just been beaten at her own game; speeches. Unfortunately, her minor stage-fright didn't put her in a good position to retaliate.

"Fine, if you want to go see your game, go see it." She sighed. "Go rejuvenate these people and spread hope across this nation." Hermes hugged her.

"I never thought I hear you say that to me!" He squealed. "I'm gonna go save the world!"

With the issue of Hermes out of the way, Athena saw fit to check out the CN Tower. The building was huge and attracted plenty of tourists, but where else did Zeus expect the gods to live? As she entered the building, Athena gulped a little. She must have heard several different languages as she walked in, which reminded her that she, the goddess of wisdom, had one fatal flaw when it came to travelling.

Athena couldn't speak French. Hermes could speak almost any language, and the others didn't really need to bother. It seemed to Athena that the only trait she had inherited from Zeus that had stuck was her inability to speak more than a few languages; English, several forms of Greek, Latin and Spanish. But Athena knew she had to ask a guard at the desk a few things about the gods moving in. She stood in line behind a few couples asking questions. Then, she noticed something awful.

There was a line already developing behind her, and Athena only had to wait for two people to finish before it was her turn. However, the people behind her and in front of her were all speaking French. Unfortunately, the words _baguette_ and _sacre bleu_ weren't part of their conversation, so Athena understood next to nothing. The guard also spoke in French back to them. Finally, it was Athena's turn. She stepped up with sweaty palms and, for the first time in her life, sent a humiliating prayer to Aphrodite in her head.

"Bonjour. Avec quoi est-ce que je peux vous aider?" The guard asked.

"Bun jur!" Athena replied. Her pronunciation was awful. "Je maple Athena! Je swiss le goddess de la wisdom! Ma pear Zeus wants a fur un move, alord je swiss icy pour regardur le tower!" Athena was trying to sound serious, but it only made her look worse. The guard gave a nervous chuckle.

"Would you prefer English?" He asked. Athena nearly collapsed to the ground.

"Oh, thank gods!" she said. "Listen, Zeus wants us to move and I'm here to check out the tower. Can I ask the person in charge a few questions?" The guard lifted the gate leading behind the desk.

"Right this way."

About two hours later, Athena was satisfied as she flicked down the long note she had taken on her iPad during her interview with one of the demigods in charge of the tower. It didn't seem like a bad place to live. In her opinion, she thought that if the gods made their move as quiet as possible, the mortals wouldn't notice and no one would expect to find them in Canada. Maybe it was finally time to settle down after two wars back to back. Besides, now she needed to get Hermes and head home.

After taking a cab, Athena found herself walking towards a set of doors toward the rink of the Air Canada Center, where Hermes was watching his game. She could already hear the screams and hooting before she braced herself for a headache.

And boy, did she get one.

Athena poofed herself into the arena, materializing in the highest row of seating and looked down at the game. It was the middle of the second period, which meant she could get Hermes out after ten minutes. But where was he? Her eyes scanned the crowd. Usually, the gods gave off a small aura that made them easy to spot amongst mortals that was visible to other gods. Athena saw a few minor gods and goddesses, but there was no sign of her younger brother.

There was a loud siren from the speakers as red lights began to flash on the rink, indicating someone had scored, startling Athena. She watched as the men in the blue and white jerseys, the Maple Leafs, circled around one of their players who had just earned them a goal, tying the game three to three. The Leafs fans in the crowd began stomping their feet and cheering, shouting out the number of the player who scored.

"And the Maple Leafs have scored once again, giving number 11, Hermès d'Olympie a hat trick with an assist by…" Athena felt her stress level rise. Hermes was playing hockey now. How was she supposed to get him off the ice? She glanced at her watch. They had five minutes before they needed to be home, and Athena wasn't about to be ridiculed for being late for the first time in ages.

Desperately, she climbed on the railing and puffed her lungs. This was going to be embarrassing.

Hermes, on the other hand, was having a whale of a time restoring hope to the people of America's hat. He did a victory lap to celebrate his goal.

"How are we doing, guys?" he asked his hockey stick.

_I feel fantastic!_ George said. _I haven't felt this alive in ages!_

_Boys, I hate to interrupt our fun, but we really should go home soon!_ Martha said. _Lady Athena will be worried about us!_

"Phht!" Hermes said. "Listen, guys. Nothing Athena says or does will ever get me off this ice! We came to play and we're gonna play! This sis the fate of a nation!"

_Yeah!_

"For Canada!"

_Rats are delicious!_

"Hermes, if you don't get up here this minute, I'm going to tell Hera about your plans for this Thursday!" Athena's voice rang louder than anything ever heard before in the Air Canada Center. Hermes, along with a thousand or more fans, turned their heads to see Athena standing on a railing, her face bright red. The game stopped.

_Thank gods Hermes is hardly ever right!_ Martha said. _Come on boys. It's time to go home._

"But-"

"No buts!" Athena yelled back. "Don't make me tell Hera!"

_Hermes, I need you to listen to me._ George began. _I know how much we both want to stay and play hockey, but if you don't go and Athena pops the prank to Hera, you'll regret it for the rest of your life._

"You're right…" Hermes thought. "Okay! I'm coming!" The hockey stick turned back into a cell phone and Hermes' hockey gear fell off life paper. He began to walk off, but stopped in the center of the ice. All eyes were on him. "George, Martha, microphone mode, please." He said.

"Long live the Leafs!" He shouted, resulting in a burst of applause from the stands. "Canadians, remember your passion for this sport! Even when the god of sports cannot be there, remember who you are! And who are you? You are Polar Bear hunters who live in igloos in Toronto with free health care, maple syrup and hockey! Long live- Oww!" Athena appeared beside him and grabbed his ear.

"That's enough maple syrup for you." She said. "Time to go home, Hermes." And they went poof!

* * *

**And there's the second chapter! I guess the reason I got so into writing it is because, well, both Thennie and I are Canadian! I can assure you that none of those stereotypes are true, although hockey is the passion of our nation, even if I hate it... grr...**

**Next one... Everyone's favorite Earth Shaker and his big brother travel to Europe... where a nasty little scheme is in tow... Watch out, Temple of a Athena!**

**Once again, I would love some suggestions for events to take place in each continent! See you!**


	3. Europe (Poseidon and Hades)

**First of all, this is not what we had in mind for this chapter. Believe it or not, this chapter was actually rewritten twice, but neither of them seemed to live up to the standards of the others, so we decided to rework it.**

**And boy are we glad we did!**

**We actually came up with this idea in the five minute gap we had between classes... And only ranted about it further on!**

**We have a little headcannon that Poseidon is a huge Lord of the Rings fan-**

**Legolas!**

***sigh* Oh, Thennie. Anyways, Poseidon likes LotR, Persephone likes to have cuddles with Cebby and the Olympians are all huge Batman fans!**

**Someone forgot to post the disclaimer in the last chapter, now didn't she?**

**I'm sowwy Thennie...**

**Disclaimer: We DO NOT own Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Heroes of Olympus and/or any other related works. All rights belong to Rick Riordan.**

* * *

"I think I should paint a pillar, then skip one and keep going until I run out. What do you think?"

"Are you planning to hang your shoes off the roof, as well? Gods, Poseidon. I hope now you understand why you aren't the king."

"Aw, shut up! Just wait until Athena see's this…" Poseidon shook the can of bright neon blue spray paint violently, getting ready to pull a serious prank on the Parthenon. According to time changes, it was currently night time in Athens, Greece. Hades sighed. Why was his brother always like this when it came to Athena and Zeus wasn't around? He turned away from the temple and stared into the night sky.

_La vita è come un fiore, _

_Una vita così breve e breve, _

_Non lascerò petali cadono, _

_Cadranno solo con le lacrime._

At his feet, Cerberus whimpered a little. Hades had taken the liberty of taking his dog for a walk, who had shrunken himself into a normal sized Rottweiler. Only Hades and Poseidon could see his two extra heads, all of which recognized their master's poetry.

"Hades, that was be-au-ti-ful." Poseidon said, testing the paint on the ground. "I never knew you were a poet."

"I'm not." He looked over the sleeping city. "Maria was. And Persephone."

"Let's stray from the topic of… wives, for a moment. What did you think of the Eiffel Tower?"

"Maybe."

"The Leaning Tower of Pisa?"

"I don't think I can trust going back there. Remember what happened last time? Cerberus had flees, and that's why it leans." Poseidon blinked.

"You really are a poet!" he exclaimed. "So, you're saying that Cerberus had an itch and used that tower to scratch himself?" Hades looked down at his dog.

"Unfortunately, yes." Cerberus whimpered. "I'm not punishing you. Do you need to go _fare pipì_?" Cerberus barked.

"What was that?"

"I asked him if he had to go pee."

"In Italian?" Hades put his hand to his mouth.

"I need to control that…" Poseidon knelt to Cerberus with a devilish look in his eyes.

"How would you like to go pee somewhere nice and clean?" Hades furrowed his brow.

"Poseidon, you need to learn that there is a limit to how far you can take this. You do realise that I have no desire to be here, and by letting my dog relieve himself in Athena's offering bowl, you are getting me involved."

"Oh, come on! It'll make Zeus angry, too!"

"Poseidon-" Hades figured it was worthless arguing. Poseidon had already sent Cerberus running up the hill. Sighing, he followed his brother up the hill to the Parthenon. The marble building was in ruin, but still looked beautiful in the moonlight. By the time Hades reached the top of the hill and entered the temple, his dog and brother were nowhere to be found. "Poseidon?" He called. No answer. He gave a sharp whistle. "Cerberus! Come here!" No sign of Cerberus. Suddenly, the floor opened from beneath him and Hades yelled as he rode down a slide deep below the Parthenon. He landed on his front after what seemed like a few minutes of twisting and turning, putting the God of the Underworld in the perfect place to hurl.

"Hey, Hades!" Poseidon said, Hades still in a state of recovery. "Any chance your magic ground powers can get us out of here?" Cerberus barked and ran to his master, now grown to five feet. Hades managed to stand.

"Is it wise to try and escape one of Athena's traps?" He asked, wiping the dirt from his coat, along with a few liters of dog drool. "Knowing her, she has layer upon layer of plans to stop us if we try and do anything."

_You are correct, Hades. Poseidon, you are an idiot._ Both brothers looked around in confusion.

"Athena?" Poseidon asked. "You're supposed to be in Canada!"

_Wherever I am, it does not mean I am not on top of things here._ Athena's voice said again. _Knowing myself, I am probably doing something of great importance at the moment and cannot come to punish you myself, as much as I would enjoy it. This is an automated recording. There is absolutely no way either of you can possibly out smart it. Several eons have given me great amounts of study material._

"Well, what do you want us to do? Or what shall you do to us?" Hades asked.

_You will each face several… Obstacles on your way out._ Athena said. _In order to completely escape the Parthenon, you must complete each one._

"Wait, why are you letting us go?" Poseidon scoffed. "Are you too stupid to think of some kind of punishment on the spot?"

_It's more fun to watch you suffer over time in a form where you can't argue back much. Also, Zeus would not be pleased if I unleashed my wrath on the very land of which we were born._ Poseidon sighed.

"Fine! Where do we go and what do we do?"

_Step through the door ahead of you. This message will end and a new one will begin after you enter the next room._ There was a snap, like a recorder shutting off.

"Hades, do we have to do this?" Poseidon asked. His brother sighed.

"You heard her. I doubt she'll have anything physically injuring for us, just moral crushing." Hades paused, sniffing the air. "What on earth is that awful smell?" Cerberus curled into a ball at his feet and whimpered as Hades glared at him.

"So, either we go through the door and get hurt or get suffocated by the smell of Cerberus' pee… I vote door." Poseidon began to walk further down the dark corridor. Hades attached the leash to Cerberus and followed. They reached an open room with a dusty box on the ground. A door sat waiting for them on the other side.

"Poseidon, make this quick. We have twenty minutes before we need to return to Olympus." Hades said, checking his phone.

"Can you call for help?"

"No signal." Poseidon tried to open the door.

"It's locked. I guess we really do need to do what Athena has planned."

_What a clever deduction, Poseidon. I'm surprised your brain finally woke up._ Athena's voice came on the intercom once more. _Do those clever eyes of yours see a box on the ground? I want you to open it. It might be a little dusty._ Poseidon knelt to the box, but Hades pushed him back.

"Cerberus, sniff." Three heads began to inspect and lick the box. They all sat looking innocently at Hades after, a sign there was no harm. "Alright." Hades nodded at his brother, who opened the box.

_Inside, you will find the complete collection of Lord of the Rings. Based on logic and Poseidon's choice of date movies, this is his favorite series._ Poseidon laughed.

"Yeah! I love these books so much! Hades, we should totally go cosplaying together!"

"Not on your life."

_Beside the books, you will find a bottle of gasoline. Please, pour it on all the books._

"But won't that make them get wet?"

_Based on logic, yes. I'm surprised the god of the seas had to ask such a stupid question about liquids._ Poseidon gave her a rude gesture as he poured the gasoline onto the books. Cerberus barked. _Now, the last item in the box is one I'm sure you're familiar with._ Poseidon pulled out a cigarette lighter.

"Athena, based on your logic, is it really a wise idea to light three large books on fire in an underground tunnel where we will run out of oxygen quite quickly?" Hades asked, trying his best to make her sound like an idiot.

_Based on my logic, I'd say a smart idea is to put out the fire once the books have been burnt to my liking._ Poseidon gave Hades the puppy eyes.

"Please don't make me burn them!" He cried. "I love these books so much!"

_Don't help him, Hades._

"Poseidon, light the books on fire."

"No!"

"Poseidon!"

"No!"

"Poseidon, don't make me tell Hera our fantastic plans for Thursday! Remember? The prank?" Poseidon was silenced.

"Fine…" He sniffled, igniting the lighter. "It's worth it… Besides… I have these at home, too…" And they held a minor funeral in the room for the books as the tale of Frodo Baggins and other more interesting characters became ashes.

_That's enough._ Athena said, after a silence that felt like hours. _I've watched them burn long enough._ Hades stamped out the fire that was left on what little ashes remained. Cerberus sneezed. If Athena was making them burn books, surely the other things they would need to do wouldn't be so bad.

"Come on, Poseidon." Hades took his brother's arm. "The door's open."

"I can't believe she made me burn Lord of the Rings…" They opened the door and continued up a set of stairs.

"It's good to know we actually are getting out of here." Hades said, turning on the flashlight on his phone. "I know this really isn't going to sound like me, but be an optimist, Poseidon. For all we know, I'll be doing something worse than what you had to do."

_Hades, you are correct, though I never thought I'd live to see the day when you said something optimistic._ Athena's voice came on again as they entered the next room. Poseidon burst into laughter.

"What is that?!" He yelled, pointing at something hanging from a clothes rack.

_That, idiot, is exactly what you think it is. Behold, a Batman costume made out of bright pink spandex. It's rather skin tight and will certainly… brighten up any party. Hades, I want you to put it on and take a… I rue the day I have to say this, but I want you to take a Selfie of yourself in the costume and don't delete it. _Poseidon went into a full-blown crazy laugh.

"Oh my gods!" He yelled. "Wait until Zeus see's you! You were right! And all I had to do was burn a few books! Hahaha!"

_Oh, and Poseidon, you should find the neon yellow Robin costume behind it on the rack. If you value your life, please put them on._ Poseidon's jaw dropped to the ground. Sure, the Olympians loved Batman. In fact, the only time any of them ever got along was when they were preparing for a convention and needed to help each other into their costumes. But this was just cruel.

"Athena," Hades began. "If you're such a super genius, can we get a costume for Cerberus, as well?"

_You'll find the three-headed Joker costume, without the make-up, in the next room. For now, please. Just put on the costumes._

"How long do we have to keep these on?" Poseidon asked, finding his costume, also made of skin-tight spandex.

_Just until you return home. I'm certain Demeter and I will want to see you._ Reluctantly, the boys went to opposite corners of the room and became the new Dynamic Duo. Cerberus growled angrily at Hades when he saw his costume.

"I knew I should have gotten a trim yesterday…" he grumbled, tucking his black hair into his mask.

"At least your legs aren't showing." Poseidon growled, trying to put on his belt. Hades pulled out his phone and took a picture of his brother. Poseidon did likewise. "Do you feel a draft, or is it just me?" he asked as they gathered their clothes and headed to the next door.

"Just you, underpants."

"Let's make another pact on the Styx."

"Certainly."

"Zeus will never hear of any of this… No matter how annoying and arrogant he is in the future."

"Agreed." They came upon the next room, where they found themselves an electric razor, a tub full of water, a three headed neon blue Joker outfit and a few dozen bottles of shaving cream.

"Oh." Poseidon said as they entered. "Well, that solves my hairy-legs problem."

_Shave your legs and find your inner goddess all you want, Poseidon, but I'm afraid it won't get you any further along._ Hades checked his phone.

"We have ten minutes before we need to be back at Olympus. Athena, make this quick."

_Only you can make it quick, Hades. You see, your loving little sister has an allergy problem, does she not? Allergic to… Fur?_

"Hera? Yes, of course she has nasty allergies. You should have seen her the day Artemis came in wearing that wolf pelt!"

_Well, regardless of whether you like her or not, and I'm sure no one does like her in the slightest; you are going to protect her from her reactions by shaving Cerberus._ Cerberus had mixed emotions about this situation; one head began to bark violently at Athena, another began to bark at Hades and the last one simply fell to the floor and cried.

"You do realise that Persephone will kill me if I shave him."

_You do realise that Persephone can't do a thing about it._ Hades sighed.

"Poseidon… Give me the razor." Poseidon was in the middle of shaving himself.

"But-"

"Cerberus is quite hairy. We'll need all the battery that thing has to make it." Several minutes later, both brothers were covered in water, shaving cream, smelly dog fur, cuts from the razor and were both in very bad moods. They finally managed to wiggle Cerberus into the costume, despite his many attempts to bite Hades' arm off.

"Oh my gods…" Poseidon stood back to admire the shave. "Persephone is going to kill you." Hades looked pityingly at his dog, who stood shaking from the cold water and cringing from the tight costume, his whole body white and hardly a hair remaining. He sighed.

"I'll buy her a necklace or something to make up for losing her cuddle partner. It'll have grown back by the time autumn comes, anyway." He attached the leash to his collar and they kept going, this time up a much taller set of stairs.

_I regret to inform you that this is your last little game to play._ Athena began. They stood in front of two doors. _Both of these doors lead to a hall that takes you to a set of stairs. Once up these stairs, you will be free to go wherever you please. However, you must choose which door to travel through. Behind the door on your left, the hall is flooded with lard._

"Lard?!" They both yelled at once.

_Yes. You will have to swim through animal fat to escape. Now, behind the door on your right, you will find an open hallway with only one obstacle; a box with a key inside. The key will open a door leading you to the stairs._

"We'll take that one!" Poseidon went for the door and placed his hand on the doorknob.

_However, to open this box, you must use your voice. _Hades stopped Poseidon from turning it. He wanted to hear this. _I have gained a very… curious piece of information about your sons, Percy and Nico. In order to open the box, you must read what is written on the paper beside it aloud. Will you wade through lard or change yourselves? I'll leave you to think about that._

Silence.

* * *

**Well, that was a doozy! Which door will they take? What is Athena's forbidden knowledge? What will come upon the Olympians on the dreaded Thursday? Will Cerberus' hair EVER grow back?!**

**Stop being dramatic, Hermie. Thanks for everyone who favorited, followed and reviewed! So, what's our next chapter?**

**I think I'll have Apollo explain that... He has quite the number worked out...**

**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLOOOOOOOOOOOANDHESSSSSSSTIAAAAAAAAAAAREGOINGGGGGGTOOOOOAAAAAAFRICAAAA!**

**Oh, Apollo! You're so silly! Make sure to wear sunscreen and read the next chapter!**


	4. Africa (Hestia and Apollo)

**Who missed us?**

**Alright, the first thing we need to do is apologise for the insanely long time to make this chapter! The second thing, I'm leaveing up to Hermies to exlpain, because Hermes children are good with excuses!**

**Oh... Okay! So, even though both of us plan out and write chapters together, I'm (Hermie) am the one who does all the actual typing, managing and such and such with my laptop cuz Thennie don't got one!~**

**The start of the month was Hades. Hermie was in a play that consummed all of her time, got her sick on account of it, but was a fantastic show!**

**And then we were in another play! Together! Then we died! In the play. I got hit by a train and Thennie burnt to death in barn! It was a very happy play!**

**Notice the sarcasm. And now, without further a do, the chapter!**

**This is the LOOOOONGEST one we've written so far, and the month long time away from writing has helped us pour love and humor into it!**

**DISCLAIMER: We do NOT own Percy Jackson and the Olympians. We are writing this story for our pleasure and for the pleasure of our fans and are collecting no profits doing so. All rights go to Rick Rioirdan.**

**(Who better hurry and publish Blood of Olympus)**

* * *

"It's the circle of life! And it moves us all!"

"Apollo?"

"Through despair and hope!"

"Apollo, are you listening to me?"

"Through faith and love!"

"Apollo, don't make me light this car on fire!" Apollo looked down at his aunt in the shotgun seat beside him. Hestia hardly ever used such language towards them.

"What's wrong?" he asked, still standing on the seat of his convertible. "I was in the middle of a solo!" Hestia pointed out the front window.

"Is the ground supposed to end there?" she yelled over the engine, her voice trembling. Apollo shielded the sun from his eyes and looked.

"Actually, Hestia, I think that's a cliff! The ground is supposed to stop there!"

"Okay!" They kept driving toward it at top speed. "Oh my gods! Apollo, that's a cliff!" Hestia screamed, reaching across her seat and grabbing the steering wheel. This only managed to send Apollo flying forward to grab onto the window and Hestia driving the car sideways off the cliff. They both screamed as they fell towards tall trees of a deep African jungle, Hestia pressing whatever buttons she saw to try and find an airbag.

"Hestia, I think we need to jump!" Apollo screamed over the sound of the wind flying through their ears.

"And land where? Apollo, I'm scared!"

"Just trust me! We're gods! We'll manage!" Hestia looked her terrified eyes into Apollo's; frankly, his weren't any braver. "Give me your hand! We'll unbuckle and fall!"

"O-Okay!" Hestia placed one hand on her seat buckle and the other in Apollo's.

"Now!" They unbuckled and Apollo lifted Hestia into his arms before pushing them upwards out of the convertible. They watched as the car fell into the jungle and Apollo did his best to try and steer them through the air further from the wreckage. When they did land, it was roughly in the middle of a lake. Hestia tried her best to stay afloat, but with the huge bag she was carrying, she grabbed Apollo's arm and he pulled her to the surface.

"Apollo, I can't swim! Help!" she cried, gasping for air and spitting out water.

"Are you hurt?"

"No! I don't think so! What about you?"

"I'm fine! Get on my back! We're getting out of here!" He began to paddle to the shore nearest them through the murky water.

"Apollo, what was that?" Hestia asked. "I heard something splash!"

"It's probably just some fish! Africa is full of piranhas!" Apollo wasn't entirely sure about that last point, but sometimes it seemed like Hestia was the only goddess he hadn't made a total fool of himself in front of. Then again, she was his aunt who loved everyone and baked fantastic chocolate chip cookies. They had almost reached shore when Hestia screamed.

"Apollo! Crocodiles!" she cried. "I didn't bring any cookies!" She gasped. "Everyone is always calling me sweet, so what if they try to eat me?"

"Don't be silly, Hestia!" Apollo began, reassuring her. "Those aren't crocodiles! They're alligators!"

"Apollo, as much as I might like animals, being eaten by crocodiles wasn't on my list of chores to do today!"

"Good point!" Apollo sped up his paddling until they reached the shore, where he ran carrying his aunt under his arm as they ran from angry alligators through a jungle. After a good ten or so minutes, they had reached a clearing, Apollo panting heavily.

"Apollo, are you sure you're alright?" Hestia asked, reaching into her bag. "I brought some bandages and a puffer if things get bad- Oh!" She removed a spatula from her bag. "That's where that went!"

"Yeah, I should be alright." He panted. "Where are we? Where should we go?"

"First thing's first!" Hestia pulled a bottle from her bag. "Sun protection! Oh, and if you don't want to use sunscreen, I have these in here, too!" Apollo had no idea how she fit all these things into one small bag, but he guessed it was magic only available to goddesses, for Hestia produced two lion hoods from her bag, one small and one large.

"These are so cute!" he exclaimed, examining his. "Did you make these yourself?" Hestia looked away and blushed.

"Maybe… Well, Athena helped a little, but yeah…"

"Well, let's put them on! I can't walk around in these wet clothes, anyway! It ruins my perfect image!" In his head, Apollo added "Awesome Magic Purses" to his list of reasons he should have been born a goddess, alongside "Hunting with Artie" and "Beautiful High Soprano Voice".

"Alright. I'll go in those bushes…" Hestia rushed off to put on her new animal hood. Apollo began to put on his, as well. The hood was very much like a long poncho, went down to his waist and was golden colored. The hood had a stuffed lion mane on top and a face where the muzzle came down on his head like a visor. Apollo was quite satisfied with his aunt's work as he rung his wet clothes and returned to the clearing. He had a fangasm when he saw Hestia.

"Oh My Us! You're so cute!" Hestia's face turned very red.

"You- You think so?" She traced the ground with her foot, embarrassed. "I should probably keep this on when we go home, right?" Apollo nodded, excited.

"Yes! Please!" Hestia smiled. It made her happy making others happy.

"Alright! Well then, now that that's settled, let's start exploring! I feel like going… This way!" Hestia pointed to a set of trees that led them to what looked like a path of light.

"Okay… Just don't get us really lost." And they wove their way through the jungle of trees, Hestia using her spatula as needed, humming to herself as they walked. "You're awfully cheerful for someone who just drove us off a cliff and almost got eaten by crocodiles."

"Well, I think the best thing we can do is to try and stay optimistic!" Hestia replied. "Sing with me or something! It'll make you feel better!"

"I feel fine, but I guess-" Apollo froze. "Hestia, don't move."

"Why?" she asked, looking up at him with big eyes. Apollo pointed ahead of them.

"It's in the bushes." Hestia felt her heart trying to push its way out of her chest. Staring back at her was a pair of golden eyes from between the leaves. Hestia knew the eyes all too well.

"It's a lioness… she's probably on the hunt." She whispered. "We're bigger, so she might not come near us if we stay-" The next thing they knew, both gods were pinned to the ground by two lionesses. Apollo stared into the green eyes that stared with an equal intensity back at him, breathing heavy.

_This is them. I know it's them._

_Bring them to the pride. Bring them to the Queen!_ Apollo blinked.

"Hestia… Did you just hear that?" His aunt nodded.

"I think it was them…" she responded, quietly, looking back at her lion.

_They can hear us!_ Apollo's lion said.

_That is proof that they are the saviors who have come to us!_ The other replied. _We must bring them to us! The Queen is in danger!_

"Wait, what's going on?" Apollo asked. "Hestia bakes good cookies, but we aren't saviors!"

_You are the ones from the prophecy._ Apollo rolled his eyes and thought "Oh no, Not that again."

_The prophecy for tells of two of our kind who wear the mane, but vary from our appearance._ Apollo's lioness removed herself from him. _In our greatest age of prosperity, they will come to us to fulfill the line that fate is trying to end… You must save the Queen!_

"You need us to stop someone from dying?" Hestia asked. "Apollo, we should help them! They might know the way out of here!"

"Alright… Anything is better than having two hundred pounds of lion breathing on you."

Hestia never considered herself an athlete. This was all changed when she saw how fast she could run alongside Apollo and the lions through a thick jungle wielding a spatula. After what seemed like a rather short time, they immerged into a rocky area outside the jungle.

_Down here, My Lords._ The lions jumped down into a lower part of the rocks, Apollo helping Hestia down as they followed. There, they found the lions waiting in a circle around one lioness, who Hestia guessed was the Queen, and a male, who was the leader of the pride.

"What's wrong?" Hestia asked, running over to the lioness on the ground.

_Stop!_ The male roared. Hestia froze in her tracks, biting back a scream. _No one approaches the Queen! Who are you? What business have you here?_

_My King, these are the ones of legend!_ One of the lions who had escorted them replied. _They are the gods who will save our Queen!_ The king examined Hestia and Apollo, sniffing at their feet and hands.

_They bare a divine power… I can feel it._ He did what they considered bowing, kneeling before them. _If it is in your divine will and power, please, we beg you, heal our Queen and Prince!_

"Prince?" The other lions mimicked his motion and kneeled. The tension rose as Hestia stepped around the lioness to see her face. "Apollo, she's just given birth! She needs help! It's a good thing I brought my safety kit! Come over here and look after her while I take care of the cub!"

"Why me?"

"Because you're the god of medicine and they need our help!" Hestia glared at him, half mad and half desperate. Apollo sighed.

"Can we have some privacy while we heal her? It will help our concentration."

_Of course._ The king roared, sending the others off in a hurry.

"We'll let you know when we're done. But don't worry!" Hestia said, rolling up her sleeves. "I've helped during the labors of many goddesses in my time!" Apollo got to work applying bandages while Hestia did whatever she could for the cub.

"Hestia, how do they know we're gods?" Apollo asked, softly. "Can animals recognize a divine presence?"

"I think it must be the hoods I made for us." She replied. "They must think that we look enough like lions to be called them. You heard the prophecy, too! If we really are their gods… who knows what we may have to do?" She shrieked a little.

"What's wrong?"

"I think… I think I went too far with my healing…" Hestia held out the lion cub in her arms, which was now glowing faintly.

"Oh gods, you made it immortal." Apollo turned pale. "That means… We have to keep it. Hestia, Hera's allergic to fur and-"

"She'll have to deal with it. We can't exactly have an immortal lion walking around the earth…" She placed the lion on her lap. "I'm going to call him Mr. Fluff." Apollo cocked his brow.

"Mr. Fluff? That's a pretty big name for a little guy."

"He's not going to be little forever. He'll be my baby for a while, but my gentleman later. I'll just teach him not to scratch or pee on the thrones and not to drink from Zeus' coffee." Apollo sighed and continued treating the lioness before him, wrapping the bandages tightly around her lower stomach.

"That should stop the bleeding. We just need to make sure the king keeps her here for a while until she's well enough to walk again."

_You must keep him. I insist! It is the least we can do for you after you have saved both of our lives. If my son cannot live with us, he must be in a place where he will be happy and taken care of._ Both gods were a little taken back by the queen's response once they told her and the king of the news that they now had an immortal son.

"So, we need to keep him? Are you sure that's alright?"

_He is the second son we have born into this world. His brother is currently off trying to find his own path, but given the circumstances of the prophecy, I'm certain he shall return to rule us._ The king replied.

"Your majesty," Hestia began. "I don't think either of us are familiar with this prophecy about us. Would you mind telling us where you first heard it?"

_Of course!_ The king cleared his throat. _It happened to us one day during a draught. There is a river near here where we would discard bones found in corpses that we ate by the river. _Apollo grimaced. He didn't like the sound of this. _We decided to try moving in the direction of the current, and we found ourselves looking at an arrangement of bones that spelt out the prophecy in ancient tongue. Other animals wanted to know what it meant, so we searched far and wide for someone able to read it. Eventually, there was a golden colored ox who was able to read it to us, and it said-_

"Hold on a moment." Apollo said. "Golden oxen? Did it glow?"

_Why, yes it did._ Apollo's excitement level rose.

"That's one of my sacred animals!" he exclaimed. "I didn't know there were any down here! Brilliant! Show me where they are."

_You'll go with the hunting party. It's about time for the daily kill anyway._ The king roared and a handful of lionesses stood up and charged, Apollo hot on their heels.

As upset as he was, Apollo was still excited to meet some of his sacred animals. He hadn't had any idea there were any in Africa, and was beginning to get worried that they would spread or something bad that would overthrow the world would happen, until he saw the field. A flat landscape, covered in tall yellow grass with few trees sticking out of the savannah like periscopes, held cows. There were tons of them, but none of them were glowing.

_The last Golden ox died several years before. _One of the lionesses explained. _Very few in the pride remember his presence._

"Well, I'm a little glad that the herd didn't spread!" Apollo exclaimed. "As much as I'd love to be the cause of a godly phenomenon, Daddy wouldn't like it!"

_It's a shame they died out._ One of the lionesses said. _They were delicious and cured our sick of all wounds and illness!_

_Easy to kill, but not timid in refilling their population. The poor creatures didn't know what they were missing._

"Excuse me?" Apollo interrupted, a ton of disbelief and sass in his voice. "Are you trying to tell me that… you ate my golden cattle?"

_Pardon us, My Lord, but it was well worth the sacrifice. We saved many pride leaders who revolutionized our ways from those cattle!_ Apollo furrowed his brow. He wasn't entirely sure what to think about the subject matter. They had eaten his sacred animal. Sure, he was mad, but it had stopped them from spreading rather slowly and had saved pride members? Thinking made his head hurt.

"Let's just go hunting and get this over with. Where are your hunting grounds?"

_Right before your eyes, My Lord! Behold, rich and fresh cattle for the taking!_

"Wait, you mean, you eat normal cows, too?!"

_Of course! How else will we survive?_ The lioness roared and the other dozen or so charged into the field. Apollo could hardly watch as cows were shot down on the battlefield. Tears filled his eyes. His stood in the middle of a war torn country, and he was witnessing the weakness of the losing side. His sadness towards himself for not realising this was happening sooner turned into anger, then anger towards the lionesses for hunting these creatures without defence. All they did was stand around, eat grass, poop and make milk all day, with the occasional jump over the moon when the cat played the fiddle. These lions were pigs! They had to have intercourse with each other multiple times a day, slept around and were ruthless killers. The cows didn't deserve this. Apollo took a final look at the bloodshed covered by grass before stomping off, thinking about how to get revenge and trying to remember the way he had come.

"Hestia, can we talk for a moment?" Apollo sat beside his aunt back at the pride cave place, which he was calling Pride Rock in the back of his mind.

"Oh, sure Apollo! Mr. Fluff, stop chewing on my hood! You're so cute!" The lion cub mewed at her as Hestia put her sauce spoon back into the large pot she was cooking in. Mr. Fluff was in a little blanket she wore like a sash over her right shoulder and under her left arm. Apollo blinked, a little startled. Had his aunt really, in the twenty to thirty minutes he had been gone, really built a rack for the pot, started a fire and was now making a very delicious smelling vegetable soup? Where had she even gotten all these things? The purse seemed like a good enough answer, so Apollo continued.

"Listen, I know how much you hate war and stuff-"

"War?! Apollo, are there people who need my help?" Hestia asked, looking eager to multiply the soup she was making by tenfold.

"Well… It goes like this. I just found out that the lions killed whatever golden cattle there were down here. Not only that, but they're killing off tons of innocent, defenceless cattle every day!" He twitched

_It's like watching Sis,_

_Trying to hide the fact that_

_She really loves me._

Hestia sighed.

"Apollo, they need to eat to live! What else would they eat? They'd kill themselves going after something huge or be hurt trying, and I'm sure that the lions aren't the only ones doing it! Think of it like… Your haikus!" Apollo cocked his brow, confused. "What I mean to say is, sometimes, you make really bad haikus, so, it kind of kills the spirit and passion of making them. Other people do it, too. The Haiku never did anything to you, so why bother killing it? It's because you like it and you enjoy making them, even if others don't. And I'm certain that there are plenty of other bad haiku-ers out there who do the same thing!" Mr. Fluff mewed in agreement. "Think of the little guys, like Mr. Fluff!" Hestia proclaimed. "There are plenty other little cubs out there who need the food to survive!"

"Mr. Fluff is immortal."

"I know, but pretend he isn't for a moment!"

"So you're siding with them, are you?"

"I'm not siding with anyone! You just need to see that this is all part of the Circle of Life! _It moves us all, through despair and hope, through faith and love. _You said so, right before you drove us off a cliff!"

"You drove us off that cliff!"

"Because you were being irresponsible!"

"I've had it with you! I'm going to fight for the cows!"

"Fine! Be that way! No soup for you!" Apollo stomped out. Hestia began crying and hugged Mr. Fluff. "Mr. Fluff, promise Mommy you won't ever get married… I don't want you to fight…" she sniffled. "This is the longest two hours of my life! It would probably be better if I went home right now!"

"Listen to me, my people!" Apollo cried, standing on top of a rock. He had managed to find his way back to the fields where the cows were, avoiding the lionesses on their return trip. The remaining cows just stood there, eating grass. One of them was relieving himself. Apollo tried not to look. "You have stood under the tyranny of those fowl lions for too long! Now, it is time to rise from the darkness and take back the greenery! Who's with me?" There was one loud, low moo from the back of the crowd. "Thank you!" Apollo said. "Now then, we need to decide when to attack and what to use! I can call some of my buddies down here to pick you all up and use the milk from your utters like guns!" There was more mooing this time around. Apollo backed up, nervous. "Okay, not the greatest idea, alright! Does anyone have any ideas?"

_Kill human eat spares yummy for tummies hungry we is kill it yes kill it_

Apollo felt a shiver run up his spine. He turned around. There was nothing there. Just the wind blowing the grass. When he turned around to address his company, he was pushed hard from behind and sent falling into the ground, mud and cow plat on his face. Whatever was on top of him growled and barked, so Apollo did the natural thing.

Hestia heard the unmistakeable high-pitched-little-girl scream that could only belong to her nephew echo across the savannah until it reached her. She instantly froze up, almost dropping her spoon.

_Goddess, is something the matter?_ The male lion asked, sitting beside her.

"I… I thought I just heard Apollo… He's in trouble! We have to go help him!" she blinked back tears. "But I don't want him to be mad at me…"

_Why would he be mad at you?_

"He was upset when he saw the lionesses hunting those cows… And I told him that you need to do it to live and that it's all connected and must be done, no matter how bad or unjust it may be. But he… He thinks that I'm siding with you and that I'm not caring for him…" Hestia hugged the lion and buried her head in his mane. "I just wanna go home! I don't want Apollo to be mad at me! But now I'm scared something's happened to him because-"

_What on earth is that?_ The lion interrupted, staring off into the distance. Hestia followed his gaze. She couldn't see things right away, but she heard stamping, mooing, barking and screaming.

_Your Majesty, the jackals are attacking the heard and are headed this way!_ One of the lionesses reported. _Do we fight? What are your orders?_

_Take the queen and goddess to safety, then we go to war!_

"But, what if you hurt Apollo?" Hestia asked as the lion stood up.

_If he is the reason this attack has begun, then he is no longer a god of mine. Or perhaps it is destiny. But I shall feel hatred to him either way. Now, to battle!_ The lions bound up from their meals and followed their king to meet the charging pack. Hestia knew she had to help Apollo. They needed to leave. But she felt awful. Was this all her fault? Had Apollo done something to call the jackals? If so, then it was her fault for making him mad and sending him off. She gazed down at Mr. Fluff. It was hard to be happy and optimistic now.

"But what if he hadn't started it." she thought. "Maybe I was right. But… I know that I need to find him! Even if Apollo is guilty or innocent-" And she tore off behind the lionesses, making sure Mr. Fluff didn't bounce his way out of her reach.

_Kill kill run run faster faster no escape yummy for tummies is human yes yummy in tummy why call it tummy I don't know why you asking yummy for stomach no that no rhyme no_

Apollo tried not to laugh, as it would break his momentum and stamina while he ran from a pack of hungry, insane and grammatically challenged jackals, all of which were letting their tongues dangle out before them, yapping and biting at his heels. He took a quick glance over his shoulder; there must have been at least twenty wild dogs chasing him, and no cows. It seemed stupid that they would chase him and not bother going after the cattle, who were wide open. Apollo was in a pretty bad mood and felt like making them look stupid, so he voiced his opinion.

"Why aren't you stupid heads going after the cattle?" he asked. "What's so great about me? Just giving you a piece of my mind, since you hardly have any! And don't bother giving one back! I think you'll die if you try too hard!"

_Yummy yummy cows yes cows milk cheese what no know okay go back and kill yes kill eat yes eat hungry yes drooling yes what is the subject don't know reread reading yes rereading got it okay go back go kill kill cows yummy human no cows_

Apollo froze up. He had just sentenced the cows to death. He took a moment to breathe before turning around and bounding back to the savannah at top speed behind the jackals. It wasn't long after that he heard more running behind him.

"Oh crap…" He thought, taking yet another glance over his shoulder. He was almost preferring the jackals at the moment, since being chased by dogs you can't see is more pleasant than being chased by crazy lions with their mouths open, which means you can see their teeth, and roaring at you. Apollo wanted to fall down and wet himself. But he would never hear the end of it from Artemis, so he kept going until he was outrun by the lions and found himself trying not to step on anyone and get himself eaten.

"Apollo!"

"Hestia?" He turned around long enough to see his aunt riding on top on the male lion's back, hugging his head for dear life, Mr. Fluff tucked safely inside her hood.

"Hold on! I'm coming! I'm sorry for making you mad! Please don't be mad at me! I don't want the other Olympians to kill you because you're the only one who doesn't love me!"

"Hestia! We're gods! We can't die!"

"Pretend we aren't for a minute!"

"I wish I could, because if we weren't, I wouldn't be running in the middle of the lion cow jackal apocalypse!"

"I'm sorry Apollo! Can we just go home?"

"That's a really good idea!"

"Can we take Mr. Fluff?"

"We have no choice! He's immortal!"

"Apollo?"

"What now?"

"I love you!"

"I love you too, Auntie!" He was cut off when he slammed into the lion in front of him and was sent to his musical parody mind palace. The last thing he remembered hearing was Hestia calling his name, the pounding sound of paws and roaring around him.

_Artemis, Sister, Help me!_

* * *

**That was fun! Just shows what we do!**

**We could have done a very heart(h)ful chapter about Hestia helping the poor and saving people! We also could have had Apollo learn about the diverse and beautiful cultures of different African nations. **

**But... NO. we gave you this weird inner conflict thing involving lions, cows and jackals. Time to up the medication.**

_**"Artemis, did you know that rice tastes exactly like cereal?"**_

_**"Why... Anybody but you..."**_


	5. Asia (Demeter and Artemis)

**So we talked into my house and Thennie saw _The BooK Thief_ on my counter. She points at it and says "Good book, but her eyes are the wrong color."**

**I'm an Athena child! What else was I supposed to say?**

**Good point! Speaking of points, we want to remind everyone that this is a crack fic, meaning that it isn't always meant to be taken seriously and there will be moments when characters will be out of character. An example would be Hestia from the last chapter, who was more childlike, but these OOC moments are used for comedy! We will be aiming to keep any characters with a more serious personality in the seriousness, as seen with Artemis in this chapter.**

**Unless they're Roman. Then we do whatever we want! About the languages Demeter uses, we needed to use Google Translate for them, so pardon us if we did get something wrong! But then again, this _is_ Demeter. She probably used Google Translate, too.**

**We'd like to thank ro781727 for their continued support and everyone who has favorited, followed and kept up with us! We'd also like to know what you guys think of the name Mr. Fluff!**

**We chose it because we thought it was cute and simple, and he's a lion cub! We have given him a first name that will be announced later, however Hestia will most likely still call him Mr. Fluff!**

**Disclaimer: We DO NOT own Percy Jackson. We will, however, own a copy of Blood of Olympus once it comes out!**

**I don't want it to end!**

**Shh... Go watch Sherlock, Thennie.**

* * *

"Ür tariany."

"Russia."

"Zernovoy."

"China."

"Gǔlèi."

"South Korea."

"Silieol."

"India."

"Anāja."

"Laos."

"Han paphed med."

"Lebanon."

"I'm awful at Arabic. Is that where humus is from?"

"I'm not sure. I don't like humus much. Next… Malaysia."

"Bijirin."

"Nepal."

"Khādyānna."

"Taiwan."

"Gǔlèi again!"

"Thailand."

"Mel̆d ṭhạỵphụ̄ch."

"Vietnam."

"Ngũ cốc."

"And that's all we have done up until now." Artemis said, examining her map of Asia. "All we have left is… Japan, and with half an hour to spare!"

"Kokumotsu!" Demeter replied. The two goddesses were just leaving Hanoi, the capital city of Vietnam. "Artemis, I'm glad I got stuck with you! I feel like we're the only group actually getting any work done!"

"So do I. As agitating as the other Olympians may find you, it's handy having a goddess who can speak so many languages around."

"Well, I can only say one word in each."

"Which would be?" Demeter smirked.

"Cereal." Artemis face-palmed.

"Why was I dumb enough to ask?" she sighed. Demeter took a look at the map over her shoulder.

"Well, after saying cereal at least a dozen times, I'm hungry! Let's hurry and go to Japan!"

"You just ate at least five bowls of rice when we stopped in China, plus at least a pound of... whatever that stuff was." Artemis replied. "How much can you eat?"

"I have a separate stomach for cereal, much like you have for that wild cooking of yours!" Something beeped in Artemis' pocket.

"One moment, that's the Hunters." She pulled a silver walkie-talkie from her silver jacket. "Yes?"

"Lady Artemis, we're having some… Issues, with the new recruits." Thalia's voice came out muffled. "Only one of our hunters, Maria, can speak Chinese, but she hasn't done it in a few hundred years and none of us can speak Korean!" Demeter chuckled. Artemis grimaced.

"Just… feed them until I get back and we can establish some communication."

"Well, how did you manage to teach and talk to Maria?"

"Flashcards and bribery."

"Alright. I think we can hold off until you get back… By the way, where are you?"

"We're just going to Japan now. I'll be back in a little under two hours, depending if the meeting with accomplish anything useful and not start another war."

"Got it. Have a nice trip!" The speaker was muffled as Thalia and Artemis switched off their walkie-talkies.

"Where did you park your hunters?" Demeter asked.

"Kentucky. Now let's go to Japan! I'll have to borrow a couple dictionaries from Athena and some language tips from Hermes." They hid behind bushes so no one would catch a glimpse of their true forms and vanished.

Moments later, the two goddesses found themselves drenched in the pouring rain.

"Oh, great!" Demeter cursed, putting her hands over her head. "I told you we should have brought that umbrella, but no! You kept saying that I would forget it and it would lead to an industrial revolution and tearing apart nations!"

"Look! There's a building over there!" Artemis could barely make out the building in the dark as rain hit the stone walkway like rocks. Both goddesses tried not to slip as they made a run for it.

"My dress is ruined!" Demeter groaned, watching Artemis simply remove her coat to be dry again. "Where are we?" They were surrounded by trees and it was dark out, Artemis didn't have a clue.

"We must be at some shrine." She said, looking around the patio they were standing on. "What's this?" She put her hand on a long, thick rope hanging from the ceiling over a wooden box.

"That must be the offering bell." Demeter explained. "The Japanese make offerings to their gods by dropping a coin into the box and ringing the bell before praying. All you have to do it pull it, like this!" Demeter gave the rope a hard pull as a low bell echoed around them. Artemis covered her ears.

"It's pretty loud… Suppose we should go inside?"

"Anything is better than out here!" Artemis gave one of the wall panels a push.

"Where are the doors?" Demeter couldn't help but laughing.

"You've never been to Japan before, have you?" she asked, sliding open a door in the wall. "Most doors on old, traditional buildings like these slide open, like on a deck." She looked around. "I'm surprised no one has put up the storm covers. This rain might break the doors!"

"That's what I'm worried about, as well." Came a man's voice. Both goddesses turned around. There was a man standing on the edge of the patio, resting his hand on a set of wooden boards covering some of the doors.

"Sorry if we're disturbing you!" Artemis replied. "We were just… Wait, you speak English?"

"Not all the time, but yes." This man looked Japanese, and was even wearing a very heavy looking dark blue kimono. Artemis noticed gold and silver moon shaped designs sewn into it. "Tell me, what brings two goddesses from the West to visit the gods of the East?"

"You're a… How did you…" Artemis began, but then she realised this man was in fact a god. His blue eyes were glowing a little, his jet black hair was long and straitened, and his skin seemed to emit a faint aura.

"Demeter, Greek Goddess of Agriculture, the Harvest and Cereal." Demeter said, stepping in front of Artemis to shake the man's hand.

"Tsukiyomi no mikoto, if you want to be polite, but just Tsukiyomi is fine." The man, Tsukiyomi, replied. "Japanese God of the Moon."

"Wait, what?" Artemis asked, her eye twitching. Had she heard this right? "God of the Moon?"

"You must be Artemis, then." Tsukiyomi replied. "You're quite… Small, for a moon deity. I cannot say I've never heard of a goddess taking up the moon, but the idea is a little… Different from my upbringing." Artemis could feel her anger boiling inside her. Demeter must have sensed it, for she put her hand on Artemis' shoulder.

"Take it easy Artemis. I'm sure you're just tired from the heat of Asia." She turned back to Tsukiyomi. "We're here on account of Zeus, trying to find a suitable place for us to live." Tsukiyomi crossed his arms.

"Well, I'm certain that with gods already living in Japan, it wouldn't be the world's greatest idea. But, I can still tell you about customs and such, since this isn't the best weather to take a stroll in."

"Do you live here? In this shrine, I mean?"

"Temple. Yes, my sister and I live here."

"Sister?" Artemis asked. "With a brother like you, it must be a pain-"

"Tsuki? Tsuki! Big brother! It's you!" Artemis turned just in time to see a young girl, who didn't look to be over six years old, run out of the temple doors and throw herself onto Artemis, sending them both crashing onto the patio floor.

"Get off me!"

"Tsuki! Tsuki! I'm sorry, Tsuki!" Artemis pushed the girl off her chest and stood up.

"I am not a boy!" She yelled, angry and flustered as she adjusted her shirt. The girl's ears dropped.

"Oh… so you're not Tsuki…" Artemis blinked. This little girl looked nothing like her brother. She had short, messy white hair, red eyes and was wearing a red and white kimono that was far too big for her, as if she had dressed herself in the dark. The strangest thing was that she had a set of pointed dog-like ears on her head and a tail wagging behind her. Artemis recognized them as a wolf's.

"What's wrong?" Tsukiyomi asked. "Why did you throw yourself on the floor like that? Some kind of Moon Goddess ritual?" Artemis spun around.

"No! Don't pretend that you didn't see that! Your sister, I think, jumped on me and thought I was you!"

"Ama… Amaterasu? Where are you? Amaterasu!" Tsukiyomi began walking around the patio, calling her name.

"Tsukiyomi?" Demeter asked. "Your sister is right here behind Artemis."

"No, she's not."

"Tsuki? Tsuki? Where are you? Where is he, miss?" Amaterasu began pulling on Demeter's dress.

"Over there…" Demeter pointed at Tsukiyomi.

"Tsuki! Big brother!" Artemis and Demeter stood in shock as they watched the figures of Amaterasu and Tsukiyomi meet.

And pass right through each other like ghosts.

"Miss Dem… Dema… Demi…"

"Demeter."

"Yeah! Miss Damita, you're putting your kimono on wrong!" Demeter laughed a little at Amaterasu's attempt to pronounce her name. "See, you need to put this on this way, and tie it here, and I don't know where this part goes…"

"I know how to put on a kimono, Miss Amaterasu. Now get in the tub or you'll catch a cold. That's what your brother said."

"Okay!" Demeter looked at her soaking dress on the ground beside her. It was useless to bring it back now. Amaterasu had insisted on running around outside in the rain, trying to find Tsukiyomi, until Demeter had convinced her to come inside, where Tsukiyomi suggested giving her a bath and finding a kimono for Demeter. Amaterasu was already in the tub when she found the small bathroom. "Miss Demeter, what's it like in Greece?"

"Well, Greece is really rocky, and there aren't many places to grow things, so I need to work hard to get things to grow."

"I'm the goddess of the sun, so I don't need to do much!" Amaterasu chimed. "Miss, will you wash my hair? Nobody lives here now except me!"

"What about your brother?" Demeter asked. "Tsukiyomi's here, too!"

"Well… I never know he is… and he doesn't know I'm here…" Amaterasu played with her tail. "I think… I think he thinks I'm still mad at him."

"What happened?"

"Tsuki… Tsuki and I had a fight, and I got really angry at him… and now Tsuki's gone."

"Well, I'm sure it can't be that bad!" Demeter began. "I'll tell you a story! I have a daughter named Persephone, who I love even more than I love cereal, and never let her out of my sight. Now, one day, Persephone was kidnapped by her uncle, my older brother, a brat named Hades." Demeter was thinking of worse words to call Hades, but given Amaterasu's childlike state, she didn't want to risk it. "Hades made Persephone marry him against her will, and now she needs to spend half of the year away from me, locked in the terrors of the Underworld! When she comes back, she spends the first week passing out, and it takes so much cereal to heal her! I hate Hades for it, making my daughter hurt that way… One day, the time will come when I defeat him once and for all!" Amaterasu began to cry. Demeter froze up. "What's wrong? Did I get shampoo in your eyes?"

"No…" Amaterasu sniffled. "I'm just upset… Because you don't love your brother!"

"Well, I have all the reason not to!"

"But… You didn't do anything bad to him, and I did!"

"Amaterasu, what's wrong?"

"I… I told Tsuki I never wanted to see him again… but… but now Tsuki's gone!"

"You killed a god?" Artemis asked. She was helping Tsukiyomi put up the wooden storm covers outside. Tsukiyomi nodded.

"Unlike your mythology, our gods can die. I… Amaterasu got sick one night, when we were much younger, the night she was supposed to go to a feast. However, she sent me when she was bedridden to represent her. The food goddess, Uke Mochi, had this… revolting way of making food."

"You have a food goddess?" Artemis asked. "That's a little weird."

"Uke Mochi would make fish come from the sea by turning the waves, forcing them to come out, made game for hunters by opening her mouth while facing the forest, and finally, coughing up bowls of rice." Artemis felt her stomach climb to her throat. Next time, she would make sure her game was born the natural way before doing anything to it.

"I don't blame you for being repulsed by it." she replied.

"I was utterly disgusted. I killed her in my disgust and rage… That got Amaterasu very angry and upset, but it also scared her. I was her representative, and I'd blown it. She told me that she never wanted to see me again, and I yelled back at her." Tsukiyomi rested his head on the storm cover. "It was so hard to fight in my defence… Amaterasu looked awful. She told me she never wanted to see me again and ran from the house… And she never came back."

"But, she's…" Artemis stopped. "She said she never wanted to see you again, so… you can't see her, either."

"All I've ever wanted to do is apologise to my sister for what I did and the way I scared her. All that time, Amaterasu was so dependent of me that when I killed Uke Mochi, I know she felt terrified and betrayed by me. But, I don't know if she's still mad at me or if she hates me."

"You're the opposite of me." Artemis replied. "My brother, Apollo, thinks I love him, and he loves me, but I couldn't care any less about him. He's annoying, bratty and ignorant, just because he's a boy. I don't know why I got caught with a brother like him!" she scoffed. "I even helped my mother give birth to him! It took her nine days to do it, and never in all my life have I seen someone in so much pain as she was that day! Why should he really deserve my love?"

"I can't believe you…" Tsukiyomi managed. "You have a brother right there who loves you, and you know how he feels, but you chose to cast him aside and put him down? If I knew how Amaterasu felt… If only I could see her…"

"All I wanna do is tell Tsuki I'm sorry!" Amaterasu cried as Demeter dried her. "I never meant to make him disappear! Tsuki might yell at me though, but I wanna see him!"

"He has no reason to be mad at you, honey." Demeter replied. "You were right to be mad at him. I understand, and I'm sure your brother has thought about things, too."

"But… But what if Tsuki is mad because I made him disappear?"

"Then you need to apologise. But you never wanted him to disappear, right?" Amaterasu shook her head. "Then it was only an accident. I'm sure that if you listen to what the other has to say, you'll be able to come back together. Tsukiyomi isn't mad at you, Amaterasu. When we saw him outside, he didn't seem mad, but he looked like he really wanted to see you again. You understand this was all his fault, don't you?" She nodded and rubbed her eyes.

"Yeah… Tsuki killed Miss Uke Mochi. He was mean and I got mad and ran away, but he was gone when I came back."

"And you told him you never wanted to see him again, didn't you?" Demeter asked, helping Amaterasu back into her kimono properly.

"Yeah. But I didn't mean it forever. I was only mad."

"That's right. Can you forgive Tsukiyomi for what he did? But can you also forgive yourself for being mad at him?" Amaterasu nodded and hugged Demeter.

"Thank you, Miss Damita." She said. "You know… Tsuki and me, we never had a mommy. I… I wish you were my mommy because you give good baths and good hugs and tell me how to fix things. We're a lot alike!"

"Why is that?" Demeter asked. "If it has anything to do with cereal of agriculture, I'm adopting you."

"I got mad at Tsuki the same way you got mad at your brother, Hadizu or something like that. Wait…" Amaterasu looked up at her. "If we're the same, why can't you forgive your brother, too? You're an adult, and adults are perfect!"

"Not all adults are perfect." Demeter replied. Now that she thought about it, she was the same as Amaterasu; someone who wasn't there to help someone they loved when someone else hurt them. But Amaterasu's feelings were different. She had forgiven her brother and herself long ago and wanted to apologise. Why couldn't Demeter forgive Hades for kidnapping Persephone? Was it because she didn't want to admit he had won? Or maybe it was because she didn't know how? Demeter was still mad at herself for not being able to protect Persephone and spend all their time together trying to make her happy to make up for it. But Persephone had never felt angry at her or Hades.

"Miss, you should try to forgive your brother." Amaterasu said. "You've still got the chance to do it, and I might not ever see Tsuki again. You've got the chance, and it makes me feel sad to see you waste it."

"Sad? Why sad? Wouldn't that make you angry?"

"It does a little. But I love Tsuki, even if I can't see him. When we were still together, he always made me feel so happy when he would play ball with me! It makes me sad because I don't think you've ever felt that happy before with your brother, and I want you to have it!"

"Take this from my point of view." Tsukiyomi said. "I would kill to see my sister again, and you've got a brother who wants to see you, who you push aside. You know how the other feels, and here I am, stuck in the past, not knowing how Amaterasu is faring or how she feels about me! Try and imagine how your brother feels! Probably the same as me! Wanting to apologise for whatever he did that made his sister hate him!"

"I chose to live my life without men!" Artemis replied. "If I don't want to be around Apollo, then it's my choice. Some of my hunters wouldn't be comfortable with him around, and I don't need and will never need a man by my side!"

"Well, there are some people who do!" Tsukiyomi yelled back. "Do you know what we are? Gods of the moon; a symbol of hope in the dark that reflects the sun's light, guiding others in need. Unlike the sun, we don't light the path for them; we give them a clue and let them decide where to go. Amaterasu may be lost right now, unsure where to go even if the sun is shining for her. Without the sun, the moon wouldn't shine! You need your brother!"

"Just butt out! I do not need Apollo with me! Sure he loves me, but I have my own choice in this! Why don't you just get over it and decide things for yourself? You said the moon guides others, didn't you? Why don't you use it to find some new way of living without bending to your sister's will?" He slammed his fist against the storm cover.

"Because unlike me, you've got a chance to make him happy! You've still got a chance to apologise for being so distant and to tell him how you truly feel! If that's really how you feel about him, then why not tell him? At least you can!" Tsukiyomi looked like he was on the verge of crying. "Even monkeys fall from trees, Artemis. You've still got the chance to climb back up. I broke my arms and legs."

"You're still trying to forgive yourself, aren't you?" Artemis answered. "When you said the moon won't shine without the sun? If you need her, then that's fine. Don't try and live through me." They stood in silence, listening to the rain coming down around them.

"You're right. I'm jealous." Tsukiyomi finally replied. "You Greeks are strange. Once you start a relationship with someone, you never change." He slid open one of the storm covers and opened the door. "There's an old saying here in Japan; Fall seven times, get up eight. No matter what kind of relationship you might find yourself in, you can always change things." He looked at her now. "I don't think I need to say it again, but you've still got the chance. Do it for yourself if you won't do it for me. Do it for Amaterasu." He closed the door and disappeared behind the storm cover and into the temple.

Artemis stared at the night sky. Tsukiyomi was too emotional, she thought. Why would he need Amaterasu? Why would Artemis need Apollo? None of the boys she knew had clean records in life. No one did.

Why did Apollo need Artemis?

One of the doors beside her slid open.

"Oh, Artemis, we need to get going." Demeter said, stepping outside. "Are you alright? You look a little pale."

"I'm fine." She replied. "Tsukiyomi was just being annoying."

"I'm sure some cereal will fix you up! Now then, let's go home!"

"Where's Amaterasu?"

"Asleep. She wouldn't stop trying to come up with ideas on how to talk to her brother." Demeter furrowed her brow. "Artemis, do you think a person can overcome hatred?"

"Depends on the person. I've had enough confusing philosophy for one night. Let's just go home now. I've got a headache."

"By the way, how would you feel if we adopted Amaterasu?"

"As long as it isn't a two for one deal, she can join the hunt."

* * *

**Before we close up, I want to thank me boyfriend for giving me the idea to incorporate the Japanese gods into this chapter! It was a great idea that we loved working with, and before anyone tries to start a spelling war about Tsukiyomi's name, it can also be Tsukuyomi, but Tsukiyomi was easier to type.**

**Summer is finally here! Which means we will probably update faster! Except for me! I get to go to CAMP!**

**Oh hush... I get to go to Boston!**

**Nice try, little Hermes child. I get to go to New York!**

**If I kill her in the next couple days, someone vouch for me, please.**

**I'll send you a nice picture of me with my mom and your dad at the steps of the Empire State Building!**

**I'll send the cops a nice picture of your head smashed open against the wall of my pool!**

**Just write the foreshadowing!**

**Fine! (Sticks out tongue) I win!**

"What are we even doing here? Has Zeus sentenced us to death?"

"Look, Ma! I found a penguin!"

"Ares, put that thing down! It might have rabies!"

"His name is Caesar! Like the Salad!"


End file.
